Ways to make baseball more exciting

1. Give out free steroid kit for every thousandth fan on opening day.
2. Implement point system for beaning players and umpires.
3. Replace baseball with soccer ball to make the game more intersting for the British.
4. Elect Roger Clemens to be commissioner of baseball.
5. Allow first base coach to serve martinis when bases are empty.
6. All teams required to have at least one Canadian player on the field at all times. Ooops, sorry that is the rule in the Canadian AAA league.
7. Replace carbon fibre bats with glass.
8. Switch 1st and 3rd base and hide 2nd base somewhere in the outfield.
9. Have Paris Hilton throw out the first pitch, and let Jessica Simpson play catcher.
10. Move the Yankees to LA, send the Beckham's to NY.