New rules for Central Park

1. All fat joggers required to wear shirts.
2. No stalking the celebrities, especially Mr. Allen and his young Asian assistant.
3. All automatic weapons need to be checked in at the main gate.
4. No feeding the lost tourists.
5. No snowmobiles allowed without permits.
6. Trams stop if you do a middle finger gesture.
7. Don't run alongside the horse drawn carriages and tease the horses - the drivers bite.
8. If you see Trump, make sure to bow or curtsy.
9. Don't forget to tip the muggers.
10. Sunday from 5-7AM's the mayor will be doing his opera rehearsal, so don't disturb him.