Violations of the locker room code *

1) Blow drying any parts of the body not directly attached to the head. ( Some people insist on blow drying their private areas - me, I walk around a little damp.
Violators are also seen shaving in front of the mirror but not a single hair on their faces. Maybe they wish there were. Maybe this explains the excessive blow drying? )
2) Excessive flatulating in the steam room is not permitted.
3) Pissing in the shower. ( Find a tree outside for goodness sakes. )
4) Singing in the showers ( even if you can belt em out like Elton John ).
5) Dripping puddles of water on the carpet. ( Didn't your mother show you how to use a towel properly. I assume that's shower water. )
6) Nose clearing jet spraying. ( At least use a tissue! )
7) Throat clearing, gargling, or spitting. ( See point #6 )
8) Stretching in the jacuzzi. ( Oval shaped people sitting in the Jacuzzi, and never being seen inside the gym area. )
9) Leaving "wet" towels on the benches in the sauna or changing area.
10) Bobbing to headphone music in the sauna. ( Not good for the ipod. )
11) Talking on a cell phone while in a toilet stall or peeing at the urinal.

* sorry, this list is no laughing matter, but I didn't know where else to post it.