Dialog with the elevator man

Today he said "hey, you aren't from around here, you gonna stay?". I said yes, and then he asked where I was from. "California" I said. But he looked rather puzzled, and probably didn't believe me. Maybe he thought all Californians have dark tans or speak in strange accents like Arnold the governor. So anyway, he proceeded to guess further: "You Spanish?", I paused, then stumped he said "Polish, Jewish, German ... something like that right?".

So as we neared my floor I thought that I'd let him off easily and so I said, "No, I am from Canada". Now hearing this he perked up, and said "parl Francais", I nodded and
exited on my floor.

Good Things About Valentine's Day

1. McDonald's including ice cream flavored condom in all happy meals
2. Philips releases all new laser eyebrow and pubic hair trimmer formerly used in the space program
3. Area man gets to increase his frequency of sex with his girl friend from 0.75 to 0.83 times per week.
4. Costco running a special sale on the 10,000 pack magnum condoms.
5. Match.com offering a free day with annual subscription
6. Walgreens special promotion: V-day pack including massage oil, viagra and rogaine.
7. Uncle Joe's crab shack installing mood lighting for valentines day brunch
8. Local Hooters waitresses giving out cool mints to well behaved patrons
9. Dick Clark still dropping "the ball" in Times Square
10. Even considering the tough economy, the cities professional gigalo's usually get extra tips.

Closest that I have come to real celebrities

1. 7/5/1996. Arnold Schwartzenager when he was filming Junior at UC Berkeley. Fifty feet away but I could see his head sticking up from the crowd of actors. I think Danny De Vito was also in there somewhere, but I could not spot him.
2. 11/6/2008. David Schwimmer when he attended at members reception at the Cherry Lane Theater New York. I crashed the reception. I was in the stage, he was in the entrance of the theater. With the lights on I could only see his outline, but he was just twenty feet away. It pretty much looked like him, the big hair and all.
3. 5/4/2008. President Bushes motorcade arriving at the White House. I was fourty feet away, but I think he was in the middle black limo. I have it on video that I recorded with my pocket camera.
4. 11/8/2008. Ben Stiller, err... well I think it was him filming in Central Park, but when I enlarged the picture it turns out it was not him, and they were just some German tourists.
5. 3/5/2007. Russell Crowe filming a movie near the white house, but when I asked around, it was just a gripper that looks like Russell from far away. Then the security guy asked me to leave.
6. 6/1/2010 Colin Quinn of SNL lives in my building. I see him at the gym sometimes. We haven't spoken yet, but next time I'm gonna ask him to do his DeNiro impression.
7. Danica McKellar of the wonder years tv show has written some math books for teenagers. I got her to autograph my copy and handed her a BrainiacDating card