Dialog with the elevator man

Today he said "hey, you aren't from around here, you gonna stay?". I said yes, and then he asked where I was from. "California" I said. But he looked rather puzzled, and probably didn't believe me. Maybe he thought all Californians have dark tans or speak in strange accents like Arnold the governor. So anyway, he proceeded to guess further: "You Spanish?", I paused, then stumped he said "Polish, Jewish, German ... something like that right?".

So as we neared my floor I thought that I'd let him off easily and so I said, "No, I am from Canada". Now hearing this he perked up, and said "parl Francais", I nodded and
exited on my floor.

Good Things About Valentine's Day

1. McDonald's including ice cream flavored condom in all happy meals
2. Philips releases all new laser eyebrow and pubic hair trimmer formerly used in the space program
3. Area man gets to increase his frequency of sex with his girl friend from 0.75 to 0.83 times per week.
4. Costco running a special sale on the 10,000 pack magnum condoms.
5. Match.com offering a free day with annual subscription
6. Walgreens special promotion: V-day pack including massage oil, viagra and rogaine.
7. Uncle Joe's crab shack installing mood lighting for valentines day brunch
8. Local Hooters waitresses giving out cool mints to well behaved patrons
9. Dick Clark still dropping "the ball" in Times Square
10. Even considering the tough economy, the cities professional gigalo's usually get extra tips.